I have lived most of my life trying to prove I am good enough. Recently I had a friend ask me “why are you so driven? Most people at your stage in life are moving on.” I had to stop and think. I had to take time to really reflect and see if my answer was coming from my most authentic self.
To be totally honest I have been driven for lots of reasons. I want to do good in the world. I want to help change lives, make a difference, make an impact, leave a mark. While these are all great and sound important I had to turn over the one stone I didn’t want to uncover. That was the realization that somewhere in my soul, I still struggled with feeling good enough. Self acceptance is vital to creating a happier life and finding content. It is one of the most difficult practices to establish.
I have been on a journey to be better but let perfection creep in and steal the joy. Acceptance allows us to move closer to our dreams and goals without losing the belief I am enough. I think we can find comfort in knowing that “I am enough” and there is still work I want to do.
Sometimes we get so caught up chasing the extraordinary we forget to find gratitude in the ordinary. We lose finding joy in everyday living. One of the practices that helped me find my joy and get back to living a more positive life was the practice of gratitude. Keeping a gratitude journal allowed me to have a more optimistic outlook and see more clearly what is positive in my life.
Digging deeper I found my inner critic is still taking a hold on my perfectionistic tendencies. I have to remind myself that I can change that voice and re tell the story of truth. As a child growing up in a competitive gymnastics arena I was surrounded by comparison, perfection and nothing was good enough. How I looked at myself in the mirror, to performing endless routines perfectly and making weigh in was at the top of the list achieving good enough. It seemed no matter what I did it just wasn’t quite enough to please my coach or find acceptance. Now, that is on him and not on me. I did my best and that was good enough. It has taken me a while to retrain my brain, rewire my thoughts and tame my inner critic. So I have to ask myself am I pursuing this goal for self-acceptance and others approval or using my inner strengths and gifts to do good in the world. It is a balancing act. We can keep moving forward, honor our strengths, work on ourselves and pursue our dreams and goals.
Go ahead and make peace with yourself, let go of your negative self talk, and promise yourself to be you-your true authentic self and not what you think the world wants you to be. We don’t have to be perfect we can just be on a journey to be better and love ourselves along the way. Allow yourself room for grace, growth and gratitude. Let it flow freely and you will find you are good enough right now.